Sunday, April 24, 2011


It is on this Easter, in the year of 2011, the time of before noon, and the clothing of what I slept in, that I resurrect my totally gay online diary. Or MYTGOD, if you'll indulge my love of taking the first letter from a series of words and creating a whole new word which represents the series in a shorter, easier to remember word. They really should create a name for that, by the way.

Where have I been?

The short answer is that I stopped blogging for your sins. The long answer is a totally different one involving laziness, inability to make a simple website actually appear in this space, and the simple fact that some other jackhole owned this site until recently. I'm not sure what was on their webpage but it more than likely sucked.

So I'm back. Risen, if you will. Like Jesus. Only Mytgod "HAS" risen, whereas Jesus apparently "IS" risen. Totally different thing. In fact, I have a theory on why nobody can prove this whole God & Jesus thing exists. It goes like this...

It doesn't exist.

So moving along, I found myself in my car a few days ago driving home from a round of golf. It was out in the middle of nowhere, which gave me a chance to drive by lots of tiny, rural churches. With temperatures nearing 80 I drove with the windows down. The sweet smell of type 2 Diabetes was in the air as I noticed the beaters in the yard of ramshackle homes, the overgrown yards, and of course the satellite dishes. They all seem to have satellite dishes. No matter how impoverished an area, it seems that people can live without quite a bit of civilized society but they'll be damned if they're going to miss their favorite comedian yelling git er dun.

Signs seemed to be out in force, he is risen, he is risen, he is risen. I couldn't help but find myself saying out loud, "HAS. HASSSS. HAS RISEN!" Nobody heard me though. Those country folk all have mangled ears from the meth and inbreeding, I hear.

But it did get me to thinking about finally writing again. About finally figuring out how to get this website to actually appear. About taking this important day* and bringing MYTGOD back from the dead. To begin blogging again, knowing that nobody really cares, but to get back to that place I so enjoyed where I had an outlet for all of the ridiculousness my mind is capable of. And it's a lot.

*So important that it changes days every year! Hell, even gays have a month (a whole month!) that never changes! In your face, religion!

I've bounced around from site to site, started and stopped ideas, masturbated relentlessly, and ultimately gave it all up. Except the masturbating, of course. But on this holy day where people put candy in plastic eggs, force their kids to take pictures with giant bunnies, and then spend weeks cleaning up all that fucking grass from easter baskets all in the name of a higher power, it's time that you know something. Jesus, if he exists, (which he doesn't) loves you.

But I think you're a cunt.

You're welcome!

1 comment:

The Bracelet said...

Test one, test two, syphilis, syphilis.