Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Catch Up


For those following along at home, if you had "Interracial" for Monday night then you win.


Moving along...

There have been some tremendous developments around these parts, completely trumping the previous high water mark from this post where I naturally asked this simple question of Nastia Liukin: Receding hairline or gigantic forehead?

This one picture has brought more traffic to my tiny slice of internet than any other in recent memory. For the record, I think it's just a gigantic forehead.

At any rate, I bitched and moaned, whined a little, and generally wet my knickers over the issue of getting my girlfriend to move from out of state to in with me. We weren't seeing eye to eye (Because chicks don't have eyes on their tits, am I right guys? Guys??) and I was getting frustrated as our economy tumbles and my chances of escaping my current work situation were working their way towards the chances of a five goal soccer match, which is to say almost nil.

Last Friday I found out I will need to move out of my current situation because my friends that I rent from are moving back earlier than expected. I sent out a text message to my girlfriend that read something like:

I have to move by the 26th. You should totally move in with me. I'll buy you that smush-faced puppy you want, make you breakfast in bed, and Tuesdays will become Naked Tuesdays!

So, in other words, serious but in trying not to make it seem like I was pressuring/annoying her I classed it up with Naked Tuesdays.

She and I sent texts back and forth with her telling me she'd be holding me to that puppy offer, and me joking a little more. Then, I sent what I thought would be a clever little text. I booked a ticket to go see her on the 20th of this month and in keeping with the theme of the previous texts I wrote:

Booked a ticket to come see you on the 20th. If you have your stuff packed we can grab a truck, pick up a smush-faced puppy (French Bulldog, probably) on the way home and be back by Naked Tuesday!


Didn't answer the phone, didn't return a text, nothing.

By Sunday night I was getting a little pissed off. Seeing your girlfriend only once a month is bad enough, but then having her avoid you on the phone is even worse. But then at 9pm Sunday the first of March, she called to tell me that she was ready to move here. We could do it the weekend I said I was coming, assuming I was serious about it in my text message.

Um, hells yeah I was!

Needless to say, I'm very excited. So excited in fact, that I had to tape my boner down all day yesterday lest it rear up from excitement and injure some poor passerby.

(Quick side note, don't use duct tape if trying this at home. You might want to go with something a little less gluey and powerful. Masking tape, maybe.)

This whole thing even got her to blog again!

Yes folks, things are beginning to shape up nicely around here. Now if only I could solve the other big problem I'm having. The one where I accidentally the fleshlight.

The whole thing.



jjok said...

excellent with the flesh and drive in movie theatre skull.

grats on the girlie too.....

Astin said...

Smush-faced puppies are the stinkiest puppies.

Okay, I just made that up. Maybe.

That puppy is going to accidentally your leg a few times.

But real sex more than once a month is worth puppy lovin I guess.

Unknown said...

It starts with a puppy, and goes on from there.

Pretty soon she'll want to watch her shows on your TV!!!

Grats sir.

Jdawg said...

Welcome to the end, Bracelet.

First the puppy, then the weekend trips to Bed, Bath and Beyond start...pretty soon you'll be ankle deep in dirty diapers, no longer dominating the Mormon church basketball league (because you'll be sitting at home watch re-runs of Friends), and wondering what in the hell happened to the man formerly known as the Bracelet...

Don't say you weren't warned!

Oh, and congratulations from the Jdawg...

The Bracelet said...


It's definitely going to be interesting, if nothing else.

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