Tuesday, March 10, 2009

God I Hate People So Much


Kwame Kilpatrick, if you can recall, is the former Mayor of Detroit. He did all sorts of illegal shit while in control of the city, including banging his chief of staff while married. He abused city funds, fired good cops to cover up his shady dealings, cost the dying city millions of much needed dollars, and acted like a complete jackass when he was caught and ultimately thrown in jail.

Well, as we all know from watching the news, sports, or out our front window, people who suck almost to a tee never stop sucking. And Kwame, recently released from jail, has jumped right back on the bandwagon.

An article from the Detroit News and Free Press website states that Kilpatrick's lawyers have sent a so-called Demand Letter to Skytel, which is apparently a precursor to a person seeking damages in an eventual lawsuit. This Demand Letter, um, demanded that Skytel pay Kilpatrick 100 MILLION DOLLARS for releasing the text messages which ultimately helped uncover the fact that Kwame Kilpatrick is a thug douchebag who cheated the system, his wife, and the city of Detroit out of millions of dollars and what little positive reputation it might have been clinging to.

It's nice to see people who truly understand how to take responsibility for their actions. Never mind that he's a felon, that he cheated on his wife, that he fired good people to cover up his criminal activity, that he may have allegedly had a hand in a stripper's killing, that he assaulted a police officer, and on and on and on.

Why shouldn't he sue for a hundred million dollars? He was clearly wronged. I mean, if Skytel never releases the text messages nobody could have ever proved he was an adulterer, felon, or douchebag.

He was wronged! He's a victim!!!

Honestly, Kwame. Not that you're reading this. But if you are. Would you please just fuck off and go try and be a decent human being for a while? Show a little humility and a little effort to repair what you damaged instead of blaming everyone else and going the way of the lawsuit.

Or just get in a bus accident. I'm good either way.

Parlour Magazine (Where the picture above is from) had put up a great time-line a while back. Here's a snippet and the link to the full thing. It's impressive, you should really click through and read the whole deal. Also, remember while you're reading this that he now feels he deserves 100 million dollars from Skytel because it led to all of this biting him in the ass like it should have.

- Kwame is elected mayor of Detroit to much acclaim and fanfare (we admit it, we loved him).

- After being elected mayor of Detroit, Kwame allegedly throws a party, with strippers, at his state-owned official residence, the Manoogian Mansion. According to former members of his Executive Protection Unit (EPU), his wife Carlita comes home to find Kwame with the strippers and attacks one of the girls.

- Kilpatrick is found out to have charged over $210,000 in credit card bills. What was he buying? Spa massages, Mo√ęt, etc. He ended up paying the city back $9,000.



StB said...

What? No mention of the cushy job he got with Compuware?

The Bracelet said...

Oh yeah, I forgot that.

In fact, a judge just ruled he could go move there.

Good riddance, fucker.

Julius_Goat said...

He's going to rent a sweet condo with Rod Blagoyovitch.

The catch?

It's a ladies-only condo complex!

Hijinks ensue.