Tuesday, November 25, 2008

RIP MC Breed

~

It was 1994 when the Bracelet moved into his dormitory on Michigan State's campus. He got lucky, landing outside of the famed Brody Complex full of freshman, and fell squarely into the upperclassman dorm on the East side of campus.

Like minded drinkers legally able to purchase alcohol for him any day of the week?

Needless to say, the Bracelet had a convenience boner.

He was alone but among friends at the same time. His older brother, the infamous BoyGenius, had been at State for two years and had introduced young Bracelet to many people a year before he brought his game to the EL.

The Bracelet was already familiar with The Villian J, Loaf, Chun, Glenister, Stinky, Marinos, and a few others. He'd even have a chance to see a young, skinny Jaime Feick shooting hoops in the courtyard years before blocking his ass in an IM pickup game. The Feick-Daddy would go to the NBA and play an important role for the Nets during Jason Williams' "Oops I Shot My Chauffeur" phase. The Bracelet at a shade under six feet did, however, get the best of the almost seven footer before he was a millionaire.

It was how the Bracelet rolled.

A guy from Bobby Blackjack's high school was supposed to room with him in college, but at the last minute he got sand all up in his vagina and bailed on the blackjack master. Bobby was now roommate-less and freaking out a little bit about who he'd be forced to live with. He prayed that it wouldn't be a Mexican.

As a born and bred Guatemalan, the Bracelet knew better than most just how shitty living with Mexicans could be. He crossed his fingers, and each night asked Jebus for his help in bringing in a gringo as a roommate.

Meanwhile, the first week or two at school is an orgy of booze, women, sex, and booze-filled women having sex with anyone willing to drop trow. The Bracelet was attempting to set records for participation and consumption, seeking out the cheapest booze, women, and sex he could find.

In between these escapades, and skipping his first few weeks of classes, the Bracelet became a huge fan of one of MC Breed's songs, Late Night Creep. It became his anthem, played before heading out each day in search of debauchery, and may or may not have been the inspiration for his media-heralded black chick fetish of '95.

MC Breed (A great musician) passed away recently, frustrating those of us who feel like Madonna just won't fucking die.

Rest in peace, Breed. You helped the Bracelet get through an awkward phase in his life. A time when there wasn't enough Bracelet to go around and much 'tang was left on the table due to over-thinking, immaturity, and uncontrollable erections.

You'll be missed.

2 comments:

Matt said...

Yeah I think I know something about that sand-in-the-vagina friend of yours. I had a similar experience. Gotta love the (relatively) old-school rap videos, I especially love the fact that he's using a phone with a cord on it, don't see many of them around these days.

The Bracelet said...

Word up!