Thursday, August 07, 2008


I've now spent over 5 weeks with no television.

Not that I don't have a tv, I have access to two at my new place. A place I'm staying in while a friend and his wife are overseas for a year or two. I didn't really bring much of my stuff. I figured I'd live like a nomad, cut down on expenses for awhile, and maybe be able to finally funnel proper funding into my masturbatory routine.

So far so good.

I haven't missed television that much, but then again it's just been baseball and normal television. ESPN has gotten progressively more difficult to watch as they morph into some sort of MTV-People Magazine hybrid. Reality television, while sometimes entertaining, is the most frustratingly produced programming ever. Enough with the stupid fucking lighting and goddamn dramatic pauses every ten seconds. JUST TELL US THE FUCKING ANSWER!!!

Anyways, I've got access to television but declined to set up cable while I'm here. The tv upstairs is a weird brand that my buddy got for free through work. It was like, the original plasma television. I swear it has gotta be from another planet because none of the knobs or hookups are normal. The remote has 6 buttons on it, total. So that one isn't going to be hooked up to any sort of antenna for locals.

The one downstairs is pretty badass, a 50 inch new plasma, but I think I broke the antenna because it doesn't want to pick up anything but a really bad ABC feed. Well, either it's broken or I'm such a dumbass that I'm hooking up the single wire all wrong. It's probably the latter.

At any rate, I haven't watched tv for close to two months now. It's been interesting.

I've had Sirius playing on my computer most of the time. I listen to 43 Backspin for old school hip-hop. I listen to Pure Jazz a lot now, which is great for when I'm cooking, reading, or doing work on the company laptop. I occasionally listen to one of the comedy stations but it seems that every time I log in for that it's during someone's show where a bunch of unfunny people sit around and talk instead of playing any clips. I can't fucking stand that, and turn it to something else almost as fast as I turn when I hear a redneck comic come on. In other words, fast as shit.

I've read a bunch of books, unfortunately nothing beyond thrillers. I've got a few unfinished books I may try to read again, namely The God Delusion and The End of Faith. I also have one about some random mobster sitting around here somewhere. Can't get enough of the Lee Child, Vince Flynn, David Baldacci books though and those types of books dominate my time.

Saw a great book the other day, which I think would be a great gift to anyone with a sense of humor. Can't remember the name, but it's a book of pictures drawn by bigfoot with commentary by bigfoot. Kind of like his diary. It's hilarious stuff, on par with the original Letter's From a Nut.

So with no television I've only had a couple times where I've wished I could have been watching. Mornings to catch up on sporting results, is one time, though I can and do find most everything online. I miss highlights though. I miss Top Gear, a truly entertaining show on the BBC.

Honestly, that's really been about it.

Now though, we've got the start of the NFL with exhibition games getting under way. I really want to be watching as my favorite team, the Detroit Lions, set my expectations high before collapsing during the season somehow. I must see it.

Not sure how I'm going to do it, but it'll get done. I can't miss it. Then college football starts soon after and I'll need to be catching that, both for wagering and enjoyment purposes. Fictional wagers, of course.

I've been playing more golf and slightly more soccer. Got our championship game this weekend where I plan on scoring multiple times on whatever foreign team we end up playing.

Pray for two things this evening, if you'd like to help me out. Pray that I can manage to rig my television to catch the Lions, and also that Kitna suffers a season ending injury while Matt Millen simultaneously gets fired. Neither is happening, but you can still pray. I swear to god these two fucking douchebags are going to be here forever. We'll be the first team playing a 60 year old at quarterback and stringing together 20 consecutive losing seasons without anyone getting fired.


Garrett Matthew Meeks said...

I'm going to hold you to scoring those goals this weekend.

Unknown said...

I give Lions +3.5 on regular season wins versus my beloved yet weak at quarterback Vikes.

The hook is for the team, the +3 is because Purple Jesus will win 3 games on his own.

The usual $10?

Joaquin "The Rooster" Ochoa said...

Instead of rooting for the Lions you should be rooting for Kwame! Zing and Tilt in one sentence...yes, The Rooster is that good.