Thursday, July 31, 2008

Baggage

I think it's time we declare Shenanigans on the airline industry.

This charging for checked luggage feature is getting completely out of control. It's the new, "One missed payment and we jack your credit card rate to 33%"

I thought the higher ticket price was to cover gas. Now it's also the bag charge to cover gas? Which is it?

Or is it you've found a way, that has somehow become acceptable, to charge me additional money for bringing clothes on my trip across country. How dare I!

Look, I'm all for you making money and not having to lay off every worker which would force you to shut down and be unable to tote my ass back and forth to Vegas so I can feel like a high roller while pissing away the future Bracelet Junior's college fund, but holy christcakes just make the fucking ticket price the fucking ticket price and leave it at that, assholes, because it isn't that hard to put a little polish on that turd of an airline you run and make it seem like you aren't ramming your tray tables up our asses and that's by simply ADDING THE FUCKING BAGGAGE FEE ONTO THE FUCKING TICKET PRICE you shit for brains marketing monkeys, I mean, is it so hard to let me pay a little extra for the chance to believe that you're one of the only airlines trying to not hose me on my bags despite knowing full well you are hosing me on my bags I just don't notice because it's wrapped up in the original ticket price or maybe I'm being a little optimistic when I continuously get seated in a seat with a warped seat cushion and food-like substances spread out on the floor below me with Captain Inconsiderate and his family surrounding me with kicked seats and screaming kids and not a single goddamn effort out of that asshole to make his kids quit ruining the plane ride for everyone and I just realized how you can make more money and leave us considerate normal travelers out of it and that's to baggage fee the fuck out of anyone who brings a kid on the plane and sits right next to them for two hours while they wail like the tiny version of their future woe-is-me I live in a trailer and didn't go to college and nobody will hire me self and they kick seats and whine and bitch and the fucking parent never says a single fucking word about shutting up or sitting still or not looking so ugly or going to the bathroom to improve the odor they give off and I'm all for stupid taxing these douchebags but don't just stop there because there's another asshole that truly deserves a baggage tax and that's mister fuck-if-I'm-checking-my-3-oversized bags guy who drags half his household on the plane directly in front of the pansified flight attendants in three bags which clearly all violate the size restriction of the SINGLE carry-on policy and yet nobody steps up and punches that fucktard directly in the face and tells him he has to follow the rules, so he jams his bags all over the place and along with his fellow inconsiderate a'hole baggage abusers they cause the last fifteen people on the plane to have to have their single, correctly sized bag checked due to full storage compartments, and am I fucking nuts or is this every plane flight I've ever been on, I mean jesus, people, it's not so fucking tough to not suck.

5 comments:

Kid Dynamite said...

they should charge like $2 a pound... for PEOPLE too! you weigh 180 and you have a 20lb bag? four hundy please! simple.

i just saw a newspaper survey "should obese people have to buy two airline seats?" they had a "yes" view, which is obvious, and then there was a "no" view, which said something like "people don't understand that obesity is a disease blah blah blah" and i just pictured YOU ranting at that person "KEEP YOUR F"NG DISEASE WITHIN THE CONFINES OF YOUR OWN SEAT!"

that is all...

Drizztdj said...

I enjoy your blog, can we exchange facebook friendships?

Joaquin "The Rooster" Ochoa said...

I liked your hand history posts much more.

Joaquin "The Rooster" Ochoa said...

i always find it funny that looking at the kid whose kicking your sets mother five times never helps.

StB said...

Been a long time since we had a Bracelet rant with no periods.